Final Fantasy: Advent Children

Is that a giant sword or are you just happy to see me?

If I had to explain FF: Advent Children in two words, I would say this: eye candy. Yes, that's right. It's a movie that's really, really pretty, but doesn't have a lot of substance to it. Not to say it's bad, it just doesn't have much of a story. And which to most Final Fantasy fans won't really matter. Did I mention it looks really, really pretty?

To explain it the best that I can, FF Advent Children starts off around 5 years after the ending of FF VII the video game. Sephiroth has been defeated and the FF gang are living out their normal everyday lives just as they did at the beginning of the video game. Well, for the most part. Tifa works at a bar and Cloud still roams the country with his motorcycle as a loner. The other characters do not appear until half-way through the movie, although they do try to contact Cloud through his cell phone several times, and although Cloud receives their messages, they remain unanswered, mainly because Cloud is still a loner. Did I mention he's a loner? He doesn't like being with other people for some reason, but that's just his character, as apparent in the video game.

After reacquainting ourselves briefly with where the characters are in the story, three Sephiroth wanna-be look-alikes attack Cloud on their motorcycles in a desert. Cloud fights them and learns that they are looking for "mother." They run-away after a brief fight. Later, the Sephiroth wannabes kidnap Marlene (Barrett's daughter) because she has the materia they're looking for, and it's up to Cloud to save her. Cloud does end up saving her, but later learns that the Sephiroth trio are out to destroy the world in the process by brainwashing a group of children. This is where the story begins to dissolve and the eye-candy enters, although this is by far the best part of the movie.

The Sephiroth group then use one of the materias to destroy Midgar with a Bahmut (and with the help of the children) in order to find "mother." All the major characters then return on-screen and help Cloud fight the Bahmut and prevent the destruction of the city. I would continue but I would spoil the rest of the movie if I did. Trust me though. The visuals at this point are stunning. The action sequences are non-stop and the appearances by practically all the characters in the FFVII game (even Aeris and Sephiroth) are priceless. If you are an avid FF VII fan, you'll enjoy this movie.

Like I said, the visuals are what makes the movie. The hair flows like real hair, the skin is nicely pigmented, and the clothing drapes perfectly on the characters. The backgrounds and action sequences are sheer beauty, and the music brings you back to those late nights on the PS1 roaming as Cloud throughout the FF towns and forests building up your HP and MPs.

If you are looking for a good storyline, FF: Advent Children is NOT the movie for you. Heck, if you've never heard of Final Fantasy before, you probably should not be watching it because you will NOT understand anything that is going on. To be honest, I barely understood it myself. If I gained anything from the story, it reaffirms my belief that Cloud and Aeris belong together (even though she's dead) rather than Tifa and Cloud, but that's about it.

All in all, Final Fantasy: Advent Children is an excellent eye-candy movie. I give it a 4 out of 5 stars. Enjoy!

The Fog (2005) - Juvs' Review

"Owww! Turn down the sauna! Too much steam! Arrrrgh!"


Yes, it is I. Wow. Must endeavor to update this at least every two weeks. Haha. Sorry for the lack of updates; it's not like I've not watched any movies recently. In fact, the queue of movies that need to be reviewed is long...enough. I'll get to them!

Anyway. The Fog.

Apparently this movie is a remake. (I found out afterward) The original was directed by John Carpenter of Halloween fame, starring Jamie Lee Curtis. 25 years later, the movie is resurrected by director Rupert Wainwright.

The story is basically this: an evil fog comes upon a quiet seaside town and havoc ensues.

The movie begins as 4 men are escaping a burning clipper ship somewhere in the late 1800s. The four men are stuck in a rowboat, heading toward land, when they are suddenly stuck. Oh yeah. They are surrounded by....*gasp*....the FOG. Oh dear me. Needless to say, but bad things happen and bye bye four-men-in-rowboat.

Fast forward 100 years to the same town. (With odd transition music, I might add. Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Going Down" is an odd choice for transition music, in my opinion). That little seaside town is preparing to celebrate 100 years while unveiling a statue of the town's four founders: Malone, Williams, Wayne, and Castle.

Other than the fog striking, nothing really happens in the first 40 minutes or so. You learn that the decendants of the founders are all in town. Nick Castle (Tom Welling) runs a fishing charter. The town priest Father Malone(Adrian Hough) is a decendant as well. Castle's girlfriend, Elizabeth Williams(Maggie Grace) and her mother, the radio DJ (Selma Blair), her son and the man who I believe is the mayor are all direct decendants.

In all honesty, the first hour seems like nothing. The fog randomly attacks, you learn a little more about the town and why the fog is headed their way. You learn more about that burning ship and about the four men in the boat. The last 20-30 minutes is when the real action happens. The fog....*gasp*....arrives. People die, someone does something and the fog stops. The end.

You understand that the theme is all about revenge for past wrongs. The children pay for the sins of the fathers.

The Fog was blah. I'm not too amped by horror movies anyway. The Fog did make me flinch a little, and I liked Father Malone a bit, even though his role was limited. I liked the whole tragic idea.

This movie was lacking, though. Too loose, not enough build up, mediocre performances. 4/10 Shakas.